This week was one of quiet sadness and reflection as I attended the funeral of my friend’s daughter, and marked the 8th anniversary of my husband’s passing.
Beyond that, preparations for Tuesday, the 14th featured reading at Tree as a Hot Ottawa Voice. Today I pick up the copies of my new chapbook, just in time.
Carol
Surprising how quickly things change when life throws the unexpected into the mix. This week my thoughts are with my friend, who cannot join me on the restart of the CHIP program Instead, she will be looking after a friend who has a terminal illness. Girl, I am thinking about you, just so you know.
And yesterday received word that another friend’s daughter, not yet fifty years old, has unexpectedly died. So I am thinking about her loss today also.
On the one hand, the grief one goes through over a longer period of time as an illness progresses. On the other, the sudden grief of the unexpected and immediate loss. Neither way is really easier or more bearable than the other, I suppose. As I try to empathize with someone else’s loss and their grief, I always come back to my late husband’s battle with heart disease that was taking him slowly, and then the car accident that, even so, cut his time short. But I have not lost a child, so I cannot fully understand the way that feels.
Still, my thoughts are with both of my friends today. I wish I was able to offer more comfort to each of them. Wishing both strength and peace.
Carol
So last week, I was a bit down due to eye stuff, but this week beginning to bounce back a bit. First off, I was invited to be one of four featured readers at Hot Ottawa Voices, Aug. 14 at Tree Reading Series in Ottawa. (I am hoping to release my second chapbook that night too!)
Second, I went to see my family doctor who told me I am doing wonderfully with my blood sugar control. That’s good news because it takes away the guilt I was feeling last week. So the eye things are not something I could have avoided by staying off chocolate and ice cream (well, perhaps, if I had done that twenty years ago!) So a friend and I have gotten together to form our own little support group and to get back on track with our CHIP program. That is the Complete Health Improvement Project. We tried it out a couple of years ago, and it worked well, but I think neither of us were as committed to becoming vegans (or at least vegetarians, or even flexitarians) as we are now. However, over the five weeks last time, I lost 7 pounds, dropped some points off my blood sugar and cholesterol levels and cut way back on animal proteins in my diet. The CHIP program was developed by Dr. Hans Diehl, from Loma Linda, and you can check it out here: http://www.chiphealth.com/
Diets in Review gives this program an excellent rating. http://www.dietsinreview.com/diets/chip/
Ok, so not a lot of comfort this week! I saw my optometrist, and it looks like some eye issues were not all in my head…ummm…well, I suppose if you consider where the eyes are, that isn’t exactly true. But you know what I mean.
It wsn’t good news, but if I keep on the healthy eating and start exercising and lose weight, I can either prevent further damage or slow it down. (Diabetes does things to you, even when you don’t feel it) I have some changes in my eyes caused by Type 2 diabetes, is what I am trying to say. This is the first time it has shown up in my eye exam. I just have to keep focusing on the things I can do so I don’t make it worse through my own continuing denial and self-indulgence.
Healthy Eating Pie Chart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Cuz I tend to be an emotional eater, and often react to bad health news with more bad eating. Chocolate in some form usually comes to mind.
On a more positive note, though, I have been faithfully checking my blood sugars and blood pressure and trying to eat properly. I’ve dragged out all the books again, and intend to really get a handle on what I can and cannot eat. And making sure my quantities are healthy too. At some point, I will add a few indulgences back occasionally, but not till I break the pattern of a little is good, so a whole lot is even better…
So one of the hard things to deal with is the guilt that if I had done a better job of looking after myself, maybe this would not have happened. Still, the numbers don’t support that. Maybe the eye issues would have started later on. But chances are they would eventually show up to some extent. I can only be glad that we seem to have found it early.
I will also go see my family doctor this week to let her know about this. I suspect I am looking at insulin injections since I can’t take the medication in tablet form. One type is hard on the kidneys, which I believe were damaged by the C Difficile I contracted several years ago. The other med has sulfa to which I am allergic.
Oh yeah, the C Difficile… well in 2008 I somehow contracted that. It’s a superbug. I had a 5% chance of surviving. So I suppose, instead of worrying about these other things, I should focus on the fact that I could have been dead. Or, that could also be what scared the bejayzus out of me, and why I am so afraid of health things.
Anyway, on a more positive note, I am doing a brief presentation this week coming on Yusef Komunyakaa at Tree Reading Series. And taking a workshop with Stuart Ross as well.
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